The True Bush Legacy

We know it's true: you can fool some of the people all of the time. But we never knew exactly how many that was. Now we know. 

December 2008 Snowstorm - by Tootsie

Oscar got to ride, and I had to play sled dog. 

They say this mid-December snow storm was the bigger than anything seen here in over 30, 40, maybe 50 years. By the time it started to melt, there was over 14 inches on the ground, snow on top of ice on top of snow on top of ice on top of snow. This meant no regular walks for Oscar and me for over a week. I loved playing in the backyard, though. It's a good thing there were layers of ice mixed in the snowfall. Oscar and I still had trouble walking through the stuff. We both had some lowrider belly-dragging moments.

Disclaimer and Additional Commentary - by David

Let's talk about the "Marley image on a fish fillet" issue. I'm concerned that some might take offense to Tootsie's post about the images of Jesus Christ and/or the Virgin Mary on everyday items such as toasted cheese sandwiches. I had no intention whatsoever of insulting or denigrating either Christianity or the religious or cultural views of anyone. 

I am not a religious person, but I was once. I know enough about "the issues" to know that you can side either with the camp that follows the strict interpretation of the Bible, or the camp that sides with a church's (or cultural) interpretation of the Bible. But you can't do both. If you do, then someone will call you on it. 

There is nothing in the Bible that indicates that God speaks to selected people today through "images" on everyday items. Anyway, you might see one thing, while I see another. Think about it. 

Since any perceived image of Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary is only based on the images presented by centuries of culturally influenced artists, as each individual might perceive these images, then we see what we want to see. Think about it. 

Who's REALLY the World's Worst Dog? Part 2 - by Oscar

I neglected to mention a couple very important exploits, plus one that will surly come my way. Some day and it will be mine. I already posted the rest of my exploits on December 25, 2008. 

* I've chewed through 2 USB thumb drives, totally destroying one and mangling another. I love pens and mechanical pencils, too. 

* Let's talk about the stairs. First, some background. My people really don't like carpet in the house too much, so they removed most of it. Since we're both vertically challenged, this created a problem for Tootsie and me. The hardwood on the stairs was really slippery for us and Tootsie, on several occasions, did a log roll down the stairs. Thump, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump. So our people had the stairs re-carpeted. I found a nice little corner of carpet on the bottom stair step that's so inviting. Rip, rip, shred, rip, shred, rip. 

* Remotes. There are 4 of them, just out of my reach. There's one each for the TV, cable, DVD, and sound system. So far, my people have worked really hard to keep them up on an end table out of my reach. Some day, one careless moment... mine.

Image of Marley's head found on a fish fillet - by Tootsie

You know how sometimes people find the image of Jesus Christ in a toasted cheese sandwich? Or how some people think they see the Virgin Mary in a tortilla or an ultrasound? Well, look what I found on a serving platter last night! See it? Right there on the lower right touching the lemon slices! Yes, it's an image of Marley's head on a fish fillet. Two little eyes, two ears, a little button nose. Isn't it cute?

Oscar doesn't think too much of Marley. Oscar thinks HE's the world's worst dog. Well, I love Marley and I think he's a hunk of burnin' canine love! Tall, blonde, handsome. Woof!

I talk with my ears, and more - by Oscar

Normal position, relaxed

Nervous, scared

Annoyed

"Yippee! I'm all ears."

I use my ears as air resistance stabilizers, much like flaps on the wings of an airplane.

Who's REALLY the World's Worst Dog? By Oscar

My people read that book about Marley, then went to see the movie on December 25. They were kind of disappointed. They thought they would see true evidence of the world's worst dog, but now they know that I - OSCAR - am truly the world's worst dog. Marley was nothin' but a cupcake.

In my short 1 1/2 year life so far, here are just a few of my exploits and idiosyncrasies:

* I love to chew on the legs of expensive furniture and display items - coffee and end tables, dining room sets, chess game sets, and so on. (My people tried rubbing this nasty bitter stuff made out of rosemary leaves on all the surfaces I like to nibble on. I've tasted worse).

* Tootsie and I both LOVE to chew and play with toys! But we're Dachshunds, which means we actually kill our toys. We pull the stuffing out of anything with stuffing. (That little Snoopy toy lasted about a day). If it squeaks, we work on it until it squeaks no more. If it's plastic, we chew and bite until it's nothing but a pile of plastic pieces. 

* Forget about Tootsie. She's even more of a cupcake than Marley.

* One evening my people left me at home with Tootsie and our 3 cousins, Jason, Stanley and Chloe. When they came home, they found a doggie treat plastic screw top container open and all the treats gone. They were amazed and wanted to know which one of us did it! So they refilled with treats and closed the cap. Tootsie, Jason, Stanley, and Chloe each took one look at this very challenging test and slunk off to work on something a bit easier, like a bone. I, on the other hand, took on that challenge. Within about 2 minutes, using paw and mouth, I had that screw cap off the container and all treats where they belong, making the long journey. 

* When my people are out, I really like to find, carry around, chew, and play with their little personal things that remind me of them. Think boxers, panties, bras, socks, and the like. Like I told you, I've tasted a lot worse than that bitter stuff. 

* I think I must really embarrass my people sometimes. I've heard them say many times, "Oscar, we can't take you anywhere!" It's just that particularly small (and low to the ground) dogs must work harder to show their stuff. I bark at anything that moves - other dogs at Petsmart and on walks, people walking by, and even other cars when I'm riding shotgun. Other people give my people that burning look that says, "can't you control your dog?" and "you should enroll him in some kind of training class." Well, I'm already a graduate, so there.

* Although I often feel remorse, I'm really kind of mean to Tootsie. We love to play typical Dachshund games, like chase, wrestle, roll and pounce, leg biting, ear pulling, and loose skin twisting. But I almost always get the best of her. She outweighs me 2 to 1, but I'm a lot faster and more flexible.

* I'm a huge lover and kisser. I show my love and affection by not only licking and kissing, but also by nipping and nibbling noses, ears and fingers. Speaking of flexible, the first nickname they gave me was "Noodle", because I was so good at twisting and turning in my peoples' arms. They cannot deny my love! I've earned a few other nicknames over the last year, too. They're all from that old movie, Gremlins - Magwai, Gremlin, and Stripe. 

Remember, gremlins were bad in the movie only when you broke one of the Magwai handling rules. I'm really the best dog in the world.